👁👁 ... I'm alive!!! So sorry for not keeping you guys up on what's been going on in my life . I've just been so busy doing nothing... BUT... As you all know my favorite boyfriend @louist91 was on the ex factour and of course I was there every step of the way supporting him. Who knew getting coffee and pizza for everyone there would be so time consuming! Anyways I just wanted to come on here and tell you guys where I've been and what I've been doing . (nothing) Oh! I got to meet the contestants (i snuck in with the dogs) and my favorite by far was @realarmstronguk_ . So sad he lost 🙃 ... I love having fans who worship the toilet I shit in. (All of that starbucks have me burning) ..He was the only one who noticed how famous I am . I mean I am Louis Tomlinson's GIRLFRIEND.... But yeah he was great . Although I didn't tell him that I get paid to flip my hair and try to look interested in what's going on but that's not important . what's important is that I , Elkador Jackolamptor Kalder , is Louis Edward Tomlinson's G I R L F R I E N D . I am his ONE and ONLY . I am the ANKLE to his ROBE . His ROAD to his SAGGER . I am his Sweat Reaper . Also ... his birthday is coming up and I texted his sister @the.daisytomlinson , (who also worships my poop filled toilet) because he got a new phone and number but for some reason have yet to give me his number (even though its been weeks and everyone else seem to have his number ha.ha. ) to see if he wanted to walk back and forth a few times in different outfits to the nearest starbucks to celebrate but she told me that he said he's going on holiday . when I asked if I can come , he told her to tell me that the purpose of a holiday was to get away from stress so no I could come .... after 2 hours and 8 minutes of thinking I finally realized that he insinuated that I, his GIRLFRIEND FOR LIFE, was the "stress" he was trying to get away from . That night I cried coffee tears ...
TBC... (to be cringy) .
because that's what i am .