There are moments when I wonder if living is worth the pain it causes. Where I doubt that I'm WORTH ANYTHING. Where I wonder if people truely care about me. Moments when I suffer panic attacks, and moments when the darkness tries to overwhelm me. Moments when the profundness of pain slaps me and i wonder if i can keep going. If I was living for myself i would see no meaning... My life would be like an empty well, with the capacity to flow with something that sustains life, and yet unable to produce the water to fill myself and others.
BUT, I don't live for myself anymore. I live to bring glory to the one who created my body. Who created my soul. Who knew me while I was being formed. One who knows me so deeply. Who loves me so intimately. Who desperately wants me to let Him into my struggles and my lonliness and my failures. God is right there in all those moments when I am struggling to find purpose and meaning. He fights the negativity in my head. He tells me to keep going. He won't let me stop. He is my coach, encouraging me, telling me over and over to keep running. To give Him one more rep. To go out and try it one more time. He makes me go through my problems instead of going around them. He is right there on the floor with me after I've given it all I have and still fallen. He quiets my soul, and speaks comfort to me. It's in these moments that I realize I'm alive for such a bigger reason than just myself. That I cannot measure the magnitude of the things God wants to accomplish through me. That i cannot count the number of people who I will change for Him. That I go through these things for a reason. Pain makes me strong when I let God work through it. I'm not alive just for this moment. If I could see all of my life at once, I would not be able to take it in. If I could see it zoomed out, with all the interlocking pieces and all the intentional detours and all the injustices and how God worked ALL OF IT FOR MY GOOD...IF I COULD ONLY SEE. But in those moments I'm middle of the maze, and I can't see. But I can hear my God speaking. So I choose to trust Him. My life is so much bigger than this moment. I was created with so much more in me.👀
Once one cup is done, the day can begin.. x 👩🏽💻☕️✨
Walking through an enchanted forest in @hm comfort head to toe.. x 🍂🍃
It’s always the little moments.. 🍃
I think Sunday’s are made for comfort and relaxing, and with the @leoandbe pants, I could lounge in them all day super s o f t !!! .
Check out the Leo + Be page for all the details and the rest of their collection! x 🐾🍂